One weird thing happening at the college is learning how to balance your new independence with the fact that you are usually still under the authority of your parents. While not everyone can or wants to stay in touch with their family during college, many of us have daily / weekly / monthly telephone calls and are a bit dependent on parents to pay for school. Even if you fully finance your education, you could continue with your parents in the summer to save money. Living on your own terms to feel like you’re in high school can be rough, but if you come home with an open mind, you may be able to avoid some drama with some tips
Listed below are tips for college students who are moving home for the summer
When it comes to curfew
- One of the things that helps is open communication. If your parents tell you that you have a curfew, think about what it means. Some college student never stay out till 11p.m but are still upset by the midnight curfew! If your curfew is reasonable and you do not think you need to overhaul it very often, you may be able to open the conversation on special occasions when you ask for permission to be late. If you follow the regular schedule most of the time, your parents may be more willing to relax if you ask politely. If you do not think your curfew is reasonable, avoid being trapped as if you were an adult who can do what you want. Often instinct leads to saying “but I’m in college, I stay as late as I want nine months a year, I’m an adult.” This argument probably will not lead you anywhere and could cause your parents to wonder what you are doing so late! Instead, be honest and let your parents know exactly why you want to stay later. If you say, “I’m planning movie nights with Jenna and she lives thirty minutes away,” they can understand and push back your one-hour curfew.
Contribute to the household chores
- It’s perfectly acceptable to pile up the dishes in the last week, but once you get home, it’s a different story. You will probably be called upon to help in the common spaces of your family, even if you feel like a temporary visitor who has only been there for a few months. The best you can do is entertain as soon as you get home, what your parents expect from you. If you think your room should be excluded from the cleaning controls, let them know. Remind your parents that you have not been responsible to a higher cleanliness agency over the last year, so you may not remember exactly what to do. They can help you make a list, or even take some of the load off your plate.
Communicate with your parents when it comes to inviting friends over
- Most people have friends in their dorm or apartment at least once a week while in college. When you return home, you can panic your parents by suddenly loading your entire team into your room and closing the door. When you get home, talk to your parents and tell them how often you expect friends, when they stay and what you do. This kind of honesty can prevent your parents from becoming suspicious and allow you to compromise before your group of friends waits outside in the car. If your parents do not want you to have friends, ask them if you can bring the hangout to another house.
Offer to run errands ones a while
- Obviously you are not the personal assistant of your parents. But if you go out already, check and see if they have sent anything by mail or if you can hand in their dry cleaning. It’s just a very easy way to show your gratitude and this should make your parents feel appreciated.
Do What You Want When You’re Out, But Respect Your Parents’ House Rules When You’re Home
- Even if you pay rent, but especially if you do not pay rent, you must respect the “rules of the house” of your parents. If you come back, if they do not tell you exactly what they do not want to do under their roof, ask them. You can be her child, but you are also an adult. They really do not have to go down, so it’s important they do not be fooled if they do not respect their home.
Be open about your plans
- Being honest with your parents can be difficult, especially if the dynamics of your family are already a bit uncomfortable. But if you live with your parents for a while, you have to be open with them. I’m not saying that you have to write a detailed itinerary every day for them, but if you’re leaving for the evening and hoping to end your night with an adult slumber party or with a friend, you might let one of your parents you would be home the next day Yes, you are an adult. And, no, you do not need to ask for permission to stay out all night. But you should try to be as considerate as possible. Your parents can, at least, plan their days around your schedule. You do not want them to assume that you come home for dinner and then make extra food that you are not there to eat.
Make the time to hang out with your parents
- Getting to know your parents as an adult can be really cool. You can all talk about things that you have never talked about before. Of course, you probably do not have much free time to go out with your parents, and that’s fine. Your parents are probably very busy as well. But do not treat your parents as owners who you do not have to pay. There must be something that you can do with your parents, which is fun for everyone involved.